Salon Talk: Minion Madness, Gorgeous Gorillas and Lily-Rose’s Sour Sixteen

It was a very Grey day last week – a Fifty Shades of Grey day that is. The latest literary romp is imaginatively titled Grey. It treads the well worn path of its predecessors, only this time from Christian Gray’s point of view. One critic bemoaned the twisted love story saying,‘People will buy any old tosh as long as it’s filthy enough.’ Well tick that box. It doesn’t disappoint, from what I’ve been told. And the filthier the better as far as the readers are concerned – it’s broken every kind of sales record. I expect the author is already composing the next installment.
I bet supermodels think it’s Despicable Me-vil that Vogue has put a Minion on their latest cover. These little yellow creatures are about to take over the world with the release this week of their new film. It’s this years ‘Frozen’ In a diabolical plot worthy of their evil genius master. Children are obsessed with the loveable little things.

minion
Britain’s best bottom has just been announced. And no it’s not a red top daily stunt, it was a competition run by the Royal Shakespeare company to find the best amateur actor to take on the role of the character ‘Bottom’ in their touring production of ‘ A Midsummer nights Dream’. Hope they don’t have to make to much of an ass of themselves.
Who ever thought a pair of skinny jeans would be a health and safety risk? One woman found out the hard way when she was left with nerve damage and had to be cut out of her jeans after spending too much time squatting whilst working. My problem with skinny jeans is more about getting them on. Getting them off has never been a problem.
The male equivalent of ‘boyfriend jeans’ was recently launched. The ‘ex-girlfriend jeans’ as they are cleverly titled are designed to be super skinny and tight fitting for men. Hmm, is there a word for the male version on camel toe? Whatever it is, we could be seeing a lot of it this summer!
However the camel toe could be a thing of the past. A company has just launched anti-camel toe undies, appropriately called ‘Camel No!’
Have you tried the ‘Belly button challenge’? Apparently you have to reach your arm down across your back ad across your stomach and touch your belly button. I think you have to be an octopus to make this work and you could probably break your shoulder so my advice is: don’t try this at home or anywhere else!

As anyone with teenage daughters will know, its prom season for school leavers.This is now as much of tradition on this country as in America where it originated. Researchers have found that girls are spending on average 26.5 hours searching on line to find the perfect prom dress. Compare that to brides to be who take just 13.5 hours to find their wedding dress!
In case you didn’t know it was international handstand day last week, so lots of people struck a pose and took selfies of themselves for this most silly of celebrations. I’m sure there were was lots of other kinds of pictures being taken in accident and emergency wards as well – X-rays!
A ‘hunky’ gorilla has been attracting lots of female admirers at a Japanese zoo. The silverback gorilla called Shabani is said to have brooding good looks and be ripped with muscles, He’s being likened to a male model. Wonder how he looks in pair of briefs? The two Davids – Gandy and Beckham should be afraid, very afraid. He already a national celebrity and what’s even more attractive to sponsors, he gets paid in fruit!

Lily-Rose Depp is fast becoming my favourite new girl on the Hollywood scene after she threw herself a ‘Sour Sixteen’ birthday party complete with pictures of herself wearing a necklace that looked like it was made of onions and all her friends looking miserable. Well, aren’t teens that age always miserable? At least she was miserable with her mates and not shut up in her room listening to goth rock!

An article this week revealed that one in seven adults not only don’t exercise they don’t even going out for a walk at least once a month. Come on guys! –There’s nothing like a breath of fresh air!

Miley Cyrus has been trying out a new hair colour this week. Bright red ‘glitter highlights.’ And It’s fair to say it’s not one of her better hair choices. I give it a week. Definitely one for the ‘What was she thinking?’ file.